The secret password is “Bobby”
“Good things come to those who wait.” At least that’s how the saying goes. That’s why I am still waiting patiently on my couch eating my weight in Cheez-It’s until my 6-pack abs arrive. Should be any day now. While I do not often agree with this statement, that does seem to be the case with the always anticipated annual appearance of our audience adored alcoholic. While I, like many fans, was thrilled by Bobby’s return on an almost erotic level, I could not get over the fact that it was not quite right. While he certainly shared the same grizzled demeanor and face rug, this was not in fact our Bobby. So while it is great to see Bizzaro Bobby sport a flat cap and a tommy gun like some sort of Real IRA reject, as far as we know he is an entirely different character. Can he be trusted? And what exactly happened to our Bobby?
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Bobby shares many similarities with Santa; he is a bearded man who makes an annual appearance and brings gifts to all the good little boys and girls, shaking off a bit of dust from our old flinty hearts and making us feel once more. Since his untimely demise in Season 7, Bobby has remained an interesting character study as far as narratives are concerned. While the writers have never fully returned him to the world of the living, he has made an appearance in every season since. However, while he showed up in Seasons 11 and 12, both of these iterations were not exactly the continuation of our Bobby, whom I will now refer to as Keystone Earth Bobby. The Season 11 appearance was one part flashback to two parts “timey-wimey stuff” and his Season 12 incarnation hails from Earth 666 (or whatever they call it). Despite sharing many similarities with Keystone Bobby, one thing is quite clear: he has not shared the same experiences as the Bobby we know. Keystone Bobby, while ultimately a hard ass, was softened by his experiences with Sam and Dean. Raising the two as his own surrogate children has become one of the founding pillars of his identity. During his death in Season 7, he saves his most cherished memory for last, choosing to spend his final moments with the two men he calls his sons. He loved them more than even his own wife, whom we know he was deeply in love with and was taken tragically by his own hand. Becoming a father changed the man at his very core and made him the lovable character we know today. The same cannot be said for his dark dimension doppelganger. Even if this new character has kids of his own, that will only further drive a wedge between him and the Winchesters, as he will have even fewer reasons to support them and their often outlandish plans.
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One of the only other things we know about Bizzaro Bobby is that he used to hunt with Mary Campbell. We know from our time with her in Season 12, that Mary is a ruthless and dangerous hunter, even more than John. While John certainly had his faults, he was always driven by the pain of loss over Mary’s death or by the desire to protect his sons from Azazel. Presumably, this is one of the many things that he and Keystone Bobby became friends over; lost loved ones. Conversely, Mary has proven to live for the thrill of the hunt, which seems to mirror what little of Bizzaro Bobby’s personality we have seen. Therefore, could he not possibly be as ruthless as Mary? Perhaps even Mr. Ketch? Albeit with a more approachable grandfatherly face? The fact of the matter is this man is a stranger in every sense of the word. And while the Winchesters and the audience may be enamored with his appearance, we cannot forget about our Bobby.
The last canonical time we saw the Bobby we all know and love was back in Season 10, episode 17 “Inside Man” where he assisted Sam and Castiel in busting Metatron out of Heaven’s prison. In his final appearance, Hannah and two other nameless feathered fucks enter his private Heaven and proceed to mean mug him in a shot reminiscent of a man soon to be being escorted to Death Row. Since then there has been no mention of Bobby in Heaven, whatever “punishment” he received for his role in Metatron’s escape, or his current whereabouts in any way. The last Angel who saw him was Hannah, and she was killed off in her very next onscreen appearance in the beginning of Season 11. So then what the fucking hell happened to Bobby?
After much investigating, numerous hours poring over fan theories and documents, several bottles of whiskey (to get into character) and a six-week course with a team of writers and geologists (for some reason) I have come up with only two scenarios for the location of everyone’s favorite baseball cap wearing curmudgeon due simply to a lack of evidence. That and I ran out of Cheez-Its.
Heaven’s Prison – Freeing Heaven’s Most Wanted would almost certainly result in Bobby being thrown in the slammer himself. Historically, Angels are not known for their kindness. While they have been dramatically softened over the years by their collective experience on Earth, as well as the experience gained from following Castiel, they are still not the friendliest flock around. With Cas and Metatron being the ones behind the Fall, it does not seem like a far reach for a soul who broke the rules that was friend of Castiel’s who also freed Metatron, to receive the maximum punishment possible. This could mean he is simply rotting in a cell as Gadreel once had, or it could mean torture session similar to the ones Castiel suffered at the hands of Naomi.
Cosmic Consequences I.E. The Empty – While it is true that souls who earned their place amongst the clouds make it up to Heaven, we also know that there are more than a few ways in which a soul could be caught up along the way. With the ease of which powerful creatures were able to move souls around, there is nothing to say that Bobby is even in Heaven anymore. Perhaps, like Lucifer, a human soul can be cast out of Heaven or even traded to those interested in obtaining them. Like a certain reaper perhaps? We know Billie was after the Winchesters for meddling in cosmic forces they did not understand. What better exemplifies that than having deceased human soul break out of their personal Heaven, free dozens of others, to then free their most dangerous prisoner, all for the Winchesters to ultimately release The Darkness? Seems like if Heaven wanted to Cast Bobby out, Billie would be more than happy to pick up that tab. And where does she want to send all troublesome souls?
Despite my desire to learn the fate of Keystone Bobby, ultimately I believe Bizzaro Bobby is the more interesting narrative choice. The question of assumed loyalties and his true intentions are all a mystery and both the audience and the Winchesters cannot take anything he says at face value. Whether we want him to be back to his old self or not, this does leave a wide array of interesting and varied story paths available to the writers. As sad as it may be, Keystone Bobby was taken off the board and found peace. Perhaps it should stay that way. That is of course assuming he just got a stern talking to and nothing else. Because if we find out that the Angels went back to their old dick-ish ways and have Bobby bent over a bramble patch, then Sam, Dean, the Nephilim, Mary, Sherrif Jody Mills, Bizzaro Bobby, Santa Claus and fuck it, we will throw the Easter Bunny in for good measure, all better kick down Heaven’s gates and rescue the old man guns blazing. It’s what he would have wanted. Am I using that saying right?
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